Tag Archive | humor

Warrior Nights

3:19 am this morning after about half an hour of being bounced around in the bed by Todd’s flailing legs and arms Todd: Are you cold? (I had just turned the electric fireplace back on in our bedroom.) Me: Yes and you’ve been busy playing warrior in your sleep. Todd: I was beating up an […]

Rubbing Foreheads

Me: Good night. (leaning in for a kiss) Todd: (struggles to reach my lips since we’re both laying on our sides on our pillows, facing each other and we’re both too lazy to sit up on our elbows) Good night. Me: Kissing is awkward. It would be so much easier if our mouth was where […]

No Idea

Me: We need to figure out what we’re going to do this weekend. Any idea- Todd: No Me: s. Wait a minute. You didn’t even think about that one. Don’t give me any of that bullshit about how you don’t have to search your database. You responded before I even had the word ideas out […]

Married to the 64-bit Mind

On Friday my husband surprised me with a lovely birthday dinner at the Cambridge Mill. Sizing up the dessert menu, he asked me, “What do they use instead of flour in the flourless chocolate cake? “ I looked up at the ceiling and thought about this for exactly one minute before responding, “I don’t know.” […]

Tunnel Vision

Me: I wonder if prostitutes get carpal tunnel syndrome? Todd: No. This is not a motion that has a lot of tension. Me: Yes. It does. From the wrist, all the way up. Todd: I’ve never seen a street walker with a tensor bandage. Me: It’s not as if they’re going to receive treatment for […]

Blinking

6:20 am this morning Todd: Are you blinking? Me: What? Todd: I can hear you blinking. Me: What do you want me to do about it? Todd: Stop blinking. Close your eyes and go back to sleep.