Encounters in Bed

Warrior Nights

3:19 am this morning after about half an hour of being bounced around in the bed by Todd’s flailing legs and arms Todd: Are you cold? (I had just turned the electric fireplace back on in our bedroom.) Me: Yes and you’ve been busy playing warrior in your sleep. Todd: I was beating up an […]

Suck it Snow

Todd: What is that noise outside? Me: It sounds like a vacuum cleaner. Maybe someone got a snow vacuum for Christmas. Why just blow the snow around when you can suck it up? Todd: A snow vacuum? Me: Yeah. Think of the money it would save the city from having to haul it away. Todd: […]

The Dollar General Store

 I was in Arkansas for one day on business last week. Known as the Natural State, Arkansas is my kind of state. During my stay I visited Hobbs National State Park and toured War Eagle Cavern. My cavern guide was an Arkansas version of Jesse Pinkman with a goatee. Only he was also super smart, […]

Rubbing Foreheads

Me: Good night. (leaning in for a kiss) Todd: (struggles to reach my lips since we’re both laying on our sides on our pillows, facing each other and we’re both too lazy to sit up on our elbows) Good night. Me: Kissing is awkward. It would be so much easier if our mouth was where […]

No Idea

Me: We need to figure out what we’re going to do this weekend. Any idea- Todd: No Me: s. Wait a minute. You didn’t even think about that one. Don’t give me any of that bullshit about how you don’t have to search your database. You responded before I even had the word ideas out […]

Got Milk?

Sometimes I can connect my dreams to absolutely everything that happened that day. That doesn’t make them any less weird. Take this past Monday’s dream as an example. I’m scrubbing walls in what appears to be a hospital corridor. Hospitals and universities I’ve never seen are recurring themes in my dreams. Sometimes a dream will […]

Out of Office

When I was growing up, Costa Rica was one of those places you only heard about on The Price is Right. It was never a place you’d dream of actually traveling to unless Bob Barker invites you to, “Come on down.” In this dream, my friend and co-worker Cat is about to embark on a […]